


To love means to lose

by FrancesVoorhees



Series: Supernatural One-Shots [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Loss, Mark of Cain, Suicide, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 13:05:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5335172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrancesVoorhees/pseuds/FrancesVoorhees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Supernatural One-Shot</p>
            </blockquote>





	To love means to lose

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: major character death and mentions of suicide. Trigger warning! Don´t read if some of the tags could trigger.

You were shivering. The goosebumps on your arms wouldn´t go away. What have you done? Bodies were lying all over the place staring at you with dead eyes, accusing you. You couldn´t control yourself. When he reached you, seeing all the people that were lying mutilated around you, all he did was taking you into his strong arms, holding you, comforting you. "Sshh...it´s ok. I´m here" was all he said. The tears that were rolling down your face...you didn´t notice them. "Let´s go home" he said. He was leading you towards the Impala and got you on the backseat, placing a blanket over your shivering body. Your clothes were bloodstained, but you didn´t notice. He didn´t care. He was just glad that you were safe now, with him. That he found you. He got behind the wheel and drove you both home to the bunker. Leading you to the room you two shared. Taking off your bloody clothes and kissing you on the forehead. "You´re gonna be ok baby. I love you – no matter what." he said, caressing your cheek. You still haven´t said a word. You were in shock of your actions. "Try to get some sleep. I´ll be downstairs." You could smell his familar scent of whiskey, musk and leather. He kissed you – a soft kiss on your lips with his plump pink ones. His lips always made you feel like home. Soft, warm, comforting. Your eyes fell close. He looked at your now relaxing body that drifted into a hopefully dreamless sleep. It was impossible to tell how this all could happen. You wanted to help him and so you took the mark off him. Now you were wearing it, carrying the burden of a stone-cold killer. He sighed and went down to the library. How he wanted to help you, to get this thing off your arm...but neither him nor Sam or Castiel knew how. They tried to get rid of it when he was wearing the mark but they didn´t succeed. So you took the chance to take it from him with a spell and it burned onto yourself. He was angry at first, then worried and sad. Because he knew what carrying the mark meant, what it did to a good soul. And that was what you were – a good, loving soul. Until you had the mark. You changed, bloodlust and anger which weren´t there before took control over you. And it all ended in bloodbaths. Just like tonight. He started to cry, desperately wanting to help you.  
When you woke up, you didn´t remember anything at first. But the memory came back way too soon. You started sobbing. This couldn´t go on like this. And therefore there was no solution, you made a decision for you, the people you saw as your family and the man you loved with all your heart. You took a piece of paper and began to write a letter to him. When you were done writing, you placed it onto the bed the both of you were sharing. Taking your bag, you entered the bathroom. Inside the bag, there was the item of your desire. You took the razor and slit your wrists. "It will be all over soon, I´m sorry babe...I will always love you.." you thought as the blood spilled out of your veins. Your vision got blurry and soon you passed out on the bathroom floor. When he wanted to check on you 2 hours after he left you in bed, he found the letter you wrote to him. He read it and tears began to stream down his face. Running into the bathroom, all he found was your cold body. He took you into his arms and cried. "Why....I love you so much, please don´t leave me..." But it was too late, there was nothing he could do for you anymore....

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I´d like to read your opinions on this work :)


End file.
